I try to use good manners like mama taught me to
But there’s one thing a man just cannot do
So when you asked how’s my wife, you know damn well
In polite conversation, there’s things we just can’t tell
The ice sculpture melts as I sip my wine
You ask how she’s doing, I say she’s doing fine
I know that you make love to her and you do it all the time
How can I shake the hand of the one who shit in mine?
At the buffet table, I say, “no, please, after you”
Country club manners, cocktail rendezvous
We talk about the weather, we talk about the news
But I must excuse myself for another glass of booze
The ice sculpture melts as I sip my wine
You ask how she’s doing, I say she’s doing fine
I know that you make love to her and you do it all the time
How can I shake the hand of the one who shit in mine?
We talk of sports and golf, til it’s time I said adieu
That’s my Lincoln Towncar, well I guess you’d like to ride that too
I must say farewell as the valet holds my keys
I let my stink eye linger before I turn to leave
I pull my car into traffic from the valet line
You asked me how she’s doing, I said she’s doing fine
I know that you make love to her and you do it all the time
How can I shake the hand of the one who shit in mine?