Truthful Slogans for Interstate Businesses

This is the first in a series of articles designed to educate you, the traveling consumer, about what you'll find out on the road. Brought to you by a panel of itinerant singer songwriters who know a thing or two about those corridors of commerce known as the Eisenhower Interstate Highway System.

We hope these "Truthful Slogans" that follow will help you make your choices from the highway, so that you can disregard the advertising and get right down to the truth about America's eateries. With our help, you'll be able to say to your companions, “pull over I want to eat that.”

TRUTHFUL SLOGANS

Pilot Truckstop:
“our coffee is all right” or “our coffee is here”

Golden Corral:
“feed the herd” or “a trough for the whole family”

Red Lobster:
“a place for goodbyes”

Subway:
“made fresh and slow by someone who hates his job”

Cracker Barrel:
“welcome crackers” or “more old crackers than you know what to do with”

Waffle House:
“depressing breakfast 24 hours a day”

Applebee's:
“a good place to drink alone”